I Paid Off $47K in Debt and Wrecked My Relationship With Money

Why did I drink the Dave Ramsey Kool-Aid?

Because I was desperate.

[end of blog]

Okay, kidding obviously, but it really was that simple. I came out of seven years of college with student loans, credit cards galore, a new-to-me car, and a financial plan about as good as a piece of bread left out in the rain.

I’ve heard people say that 17- and 18-year-olds should know better when they sign papers for insurmountable debt. But have you MET a 17- or 18-year-old?! Yes, they can be incredibly bright… but looking beyond next weekend, fat chance. The skill isn’t there because their prefrontal cortex isn’t developed. It’s not their fault. 

That last sentence was for me. It wasn’t my fault for not knowing better. And it took me a long time to forgive myself for that. 

When I was first introduced to Dave Ramsey, it was by a colleague of mine who had gone through his program and found herself more financially aware. The idea of knowing more about money was an immediate yes. I bought his most popular book (which I will not name here), the workbook to go with it, and consumed his podcast with fervor. 

From the instant I began to see movement in my debt-reduction plan, I was hooked. I turned into a walking advertisement for the man. I talked about my debt journey (too much). I was beaming with pride in the choices I was making (probably smug). And I couldn’t wait to say goodbye to that mountain of debt I was being crushed by.

He likes to use the comparison of a gazelle. To make moves as fast as that wild animal. Sell the things you don’t need. Figure out new financial windfalls. Take on extra shifts. Get a second (or third) job. MAKE MONEY AS FAST AS YOU CAN. 

So I did. I was working for a high school at the time, but I also had my own private practice interpreting side hustle, running in parallel. I took more & more appointments. Need a body to cover the job? I was your gal. And I was making money as fast as I could.

I was knocking off those baby steps (his infamous guidelines) like it was my mission in life–to be debt-free. Seeing my debt total shrink was intoxicating. I wanted that mountain to turn into a molehill as soon as possible. So much so that my soon-to-be husband agreed his most cherished possession (a BassCat fishing boat) needed to be sold, and a cheaper boat was going to be his while the repayment process was in play.

I went so far down the rabbit hole that I cut up all my credit cards (dumb), and I believed his “You don’t need to worry about your credit score anymore because you pay cash for things” rhetoric (dumber yet). 

But because it was working so well (based on the spreadsheet), I kept the Kool-Aid coming…

It’s a good news/bad news situation.

The good news… I knocked out 47k in debt in less than three years, which is 70k in today’s dollars. I felt FREE. 

The bad news… which didn’t hit me until years down the road… was the damage to my relationship with money and to my credit score.

The damage didn't hit me until we needed a new vehicle. We didn’t have enough money to purchase it in cash, and I panicked. I was terrified of going into debt again. I was having a visceral reaction to the decision. If we went back into debt, it meant admitting that we couldn’t hack it as debt-free people. The shame crept over me like moss growing in the wetlands.

We got the car. We financed it. And the world didn't end. But it took me months to stop feeling like a failure every time I made that payment.

This is why I guide my clients without judgment, without shame, and with a hell of a lot of empathy. 

We each have our own financial journey, and it doesn’t define who we are as humans. 

I spent years undoing the all-or-nothing thinking, rebuilding my credit, and coming to terms with the fact that financial health doesn't equal financial obsession. A different path exists - where you can be responsible with money without it consuming your entire life or identity.

If you're navigating your own relationship with money - whether you're in your growth era, navigating feast-or-famine months, or trying to figure out what "enough" actually means as an entrepreneur - I'd love to have you in the FELT: Financial Empowerment (infused with) Love & Trust. It's my Slack community where women and non-binary conscious entrepreneurs talk about money the way we actually experience it: messy, emotional, and figure-out-able. Click here to learn more about FELT.